my wsc event had ended well. im just so glad! no matter how much hard work, how much cursing and swearing, how much complaining, how much ripping off hairs, how much sweat and tears, how much sleepless nights, how much paper work, how much editing and brainstorming, how much worries and anxiousness.. everything, for a moment, becomes worth it; with that " You've done a good job, Sin Ting! "
that's just how all organizers/event planners live by with all the projects on hand, right? suddenly, all the initial regrets of taking up new challenges, new projects time after time fades and everything just magically turns worthwhile.
it was my event this time round. and that's it. i think i shall call it a day from now on. to stop taking up projects. i guess it's just me. just me to be feeling all tensed up, all worried and anxious about every single thing that could go wrong. it was really exhausting. and i dont see myself a great organiser too! not the amount of training i got from swiss co, pj eco club(in fact i contributed nothing there) could have made me a good organiser i guess. nonetheless, everything's okay, all's well now. it's mugging for exams fullswing from now on. i have this pressing need to do well for this particular semester. so that i can go on my Taiwan exchange with a decent frozen GPA. of course, provided that the application goes on smoothly too!
that aside, i guess it's been a while since i really updated this space. i haven forgotten this place i swear. there's always this urge to post something, to share something. but it's hard to start. i can't seem to put my thoughts into words nicely like the past. which kinda sucks i know. or during times when i know how to start, i dont have the time. and then i forgot about it soon after.
march's ending soon. in fact, less than a week to april! another quarter of the year passed like that. myly im still single... seriously i dont uds what am i doing, still single and unattached! okay, that's besides the point anyway.
so yeah, i guess i have been living well for the past few weeks or months. i have been happy. happy to be doing what i am doing, happy to be with the friends around me, most importantly, happy to be me. it's not easy. it's really not easy to come this far. not when i've always been a stubborn-pigged-head person who loves to brood over overdued emotions and upsets, who can't let go of the past, who can't forget old love, who can't look and move forward... i have so much shortcomings that i feel ashamed as i try to list them down like that.
i'm not saying that i can already do all these with ease and comfort now. im just trying to say that at least for now, while i try to exterminate those shortcomings, i am able to live with them, and i am able to find my-type-of-happiness even with the presence of them in my life.
i have learnt. and picked up precious lessons from that heartbreak. then maybe i should stop calling it a heartbreak but "that experience". so yes, i have gotten something out of that experience. and with this enlightenment, i have made that experience less painful. which is already the best that i can ask for. who says its possible to experience zero hurt from any failed relationships? maybe not hurt. but that feeling of wistfulness. i guess it's impossible. even if the relationship has passed by for quite some time.
anyway, it's junyang's birthday today! and well, i really wished for the best for him, so sincerely from the bottom of my heart. even until now, i still feel different for him. different from how i would have felt for the other guy friends i had. he still, for the best part, resides on a special position in my heart. he will always be special, i guess. no matter how long has passed, how things might change. but acknowledging this fact didn't meant that i was still trapped in that past. it was just a genuine feeling that i thought there's no point denying.
till the next time then.
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