he went back to swiss today. i knew it. but guess what. i decided to leave and not see him. i am afraid. am just too afraid of seeing him once again.there was two chances to meet him. before i left school with the rest of the maths department for a maths course and after the course when i hitched a ride back to swiss to leave my laptop. but in both instances, i gave up that chance. that chance to see him.that chance to meet him. that chance to talk to him. that tells all, right? that im too afraid to do anything and everything that reminds him. that reminds me of us. i felt so weak. and felt so helpless. that there is exactly nothing i could do other than weeping. when is all these going to stop? why does swiss brings me so much sweet and yet bitter memories? why did i become so weak and afraid? what's up, woman?