been so long since i last blogged. several things took place for the past month. ended my teaching career. moved on from swiss. started tuition-ing. highlighted+dyed my hair. toured some parts of malaysia with family. went on a china trip with yz and her dad.

alot of ups and downs on my emotions. hard to describe though. never felt so hollow deep within myself before. after all the highs in life,when its time to settle down, can't help but feel so empty. awful feeling indeed.

concluded with yz during our trip that i don't really like my life currently. felt as though i have wasted a whole portion of my 19 year old life.
feel like leaving everything behind. literally everything. my family, my friends, my home, my school, my future, my studies, him, everything and anything. just leave everything behind and start a brand new life, come up with a brand new me in somewhere out there where no one knows me. silly of me i know, to even possess such thoughts. cos its simply impossible. but i haven had such an urge before. never wanted so much to leave everything behind and start anew. i want new family new friends new home new school new love new future and most importantly new life;new me.

just escape and leave everything behind?