wow. i just realised there are so much to update about! i haven updated the blog in proper for quite some time... so here we go:

1) surprisingly, i joined a cca in uni. it was such an impulsive decision i will say. but i did join the welfare services club(wsc)'s Curl-special project commitee. im not quite sure what im heading into when i decided to join it actually. but before i know it, im already in it. so yeah. let's see what can i look forward to then!

2)went back to swiss to meet ms lim! though i was supposed to help out in their nightstudy program as requested by her, i basically sit through it talking to lixia! some time since i last met her. and some time since her mother passed away. though she is still coping(i could see), but i think she will be fine soon, cos lixia is one of the strongest lady i have ever met so far. she takes everything in her stride and she is always doing better! anw, so we talked(she was doing the talking mainly), and i suddenly realised that i have been with her for around 7 years! it was at that moment that i realised, she had changed alot throughout the years. like changed into a different, brand new person! told her how i felt and she desperately wanted to know whether she had changed into someone better or not. and my reply to her was very simple: as long as she is happy with her life at this point in time, she is definitely a better person now. it's just that simple, i guess.

3) been meeting up alicia er quite often this few months. just felt really comfortable being with her. so we have been meeting up for shopping, lunch, dinner, movies, cycling etc etc. but guess its gonna be less frequent now for her school is starting next week. all the best for the new term!

4)hari raya gathering 2010! time to meet up jc friends and do lots of eating together. oh well, it was a brilliant session with these bunch of people. though its always these few of us getting together, the amount of laughter generated after each session was still as much, if not more! updated each and every about our lifes so far. in army, in poly, in uni, working. got a really wonderful takeaway cos i manage to understand a friend whom i nv did before! faharna/farhana?(shit, i still couldnt spell her name!) anw,she really impressed me with her courage and her determination to change everything now and go on the path so less walked, and to realise her dreams. she finally decided that she had already gave in too many times and now, this is the time she is not going to give in to every other thing anymore. she is going on to take the boldest step to move on to fulfil her dreams. im just so proud of her! i never thought all these were what she were thinking when she decided not to make do with a NIE diploma/ or a poly diploma course. all the best, farhana. thanks for teaching me such an important lesson in life. that we should not always make do with, but we should go all out for the dreams we once had.

5)okay. i know this is totally hilarious. after stopping for a good 8 months, i decided to pick up driving again. and the most funny part is, i don't dare to tell the others about it! haha. cos i think it was really embarassing to fail BTT. SO EMBARASSING~ but yeah, i am trying again. btt booked with cia that will take place 15dec. i really hope i pass this time round. can't imagine failing it again!!!!!!!kill me if i do~

6)1st quiz ever in my short span of uni life! hahaha. it was a quiz for my elective- Natural Hazards and society. awful elective i would say. very tough. alot of readings to do! but thankfully, it was just mcqs. sigh. results not out yet but hopefully i wun do that bad. i don't wanna S/U anything in my first year, first sem!

7) went back to swiss again, this time with hy, yz n cx! as usual, supposed to help out in nightstudy, but we ended up talking again! with darren and damian-ex collegues. it was a fun talk i would say. amazed by how different it felt to be at the same environment, but with different roles-first a student, then an alumni, then a teacher, then now an ex teacher. anyway, had a long catch up session with cx too! she updated me about how she and hf had an ugly ending. and yeah, my conclusion is just that hf is such a jerk and cx please die heart okay! don't ever think of going back to him again. he is not worth it to the max!

8) okay! went for a one day orientation camp by Curl. didnt really wanted to go but i thought it would be a good time to meet new friends. isnt that wad im looking forward to? and so, went for it and it was surprisingly enjoyable!amazing race-as usual(u can't expect anything other than amazing race in one day camp?) and made frens with my department people(logistics) and the biz mag. and i must conclude that singapore's really small! met xuanhan's gf(wanying) too! she is also part of the wsc. haha. okay. so yeah, i had my share of fun thoughout. guess it is a good start? hope i wun regret joining a cca!

9)jiji steamboat and stayover and yz's and hy's hostel. okay. it was such a scheduled gathering! spent so long to set a time to meet up! okay anw, it was really solid. i never knew steamboat could be like that! i guess that's the amaing part about jiji. we make things happen. jiji make things happen somehow or rather! yay! so we had a solid chat over steamboat and crazy laughs. most epic i guess will be baba's SMLJ. oh my god!!!!!!! it was freaking funny and entertaining! ahahahahaha. im still laughing to myself while im typing all these. okay. anw, there's a new vocab for the day. ruben=strong. insider joke but i guess its not difficult to guess right. so yeah. after sometime, ruben came over. btw, ruben was hy's boyfriend!!!!! yay! jiji's finally attached! ahaha. really happy for her lah. cos i actually quite like this guy when i first saw him. i think he will be truthful and good to our dear huiying. tai hao le!!!! anw, so baba left early cos she wasnt feeling well. and so the 5 of us continue to ton. and we had an amazing htht session! it wasnt something expected but i really loved that so much. it was the first time that i actually addressed the issue between me and jy to jiji. can you imagine? first time! since we knew each other for so long. it wasnt totally because i wasnt willing/ready to share. but its also bcos they never did ask. jiji never asked anything about me and jy ever since we broke up. not that they didnt care i know. but just that they didnt dare to. so they never once asked and i never talked about it. and finally, they decided that they want to know. so i said everything. told them everything. why i decided to get together with him, and why we broke up. i was surprisingly calm. and i felt really good when i told them everything. i never felt so good before and i never felt so light before. but i didnt tell them that i still loved him. cos right now, even i, myself couldnt be so sure about my feelings for him. so i decided to not think about it and let everything fall into place on their own, slowly. thats what i told them and thats what im going to do. to stop thinking about me and him, and allow everything to fall into place nicely. i just gotta believe that time will find me the best ending. and yes, so i opened up myself to jiji. and it was the best thing i have ever done all these while.

10) caught Eat Pray Love with cia. it was an awesome movie and i loved it so much. it was actually a very simple show. not too much highs and lows. but it was just a movie that made me smile from the bottom of my heart. watching it thoughout, i was with a smile! but i did tear painfully in some of the scenes cos i thought i could resonate so well with the female lead then. it was just a very beautiful movie that further emphasised the need for me to travel out of home someday alone and for sometime. this would probably be one of the best movies i have watched these few months.it taught me something: that it's okay to miss someone. think of him, send him love and light, and then let him go. (i don't uds how to send him love and light) but i like how simple they phrased it. and i needa forgive myself for the choices i made. anw, i shall get the book and read it again after i grown up and matured. yay!

11) met up with F6 to celebrate jie's birthday.long time since i met these girls! since i missed out the last session due to yog duties. they didnt change much i guess. or maybe i should say they are all becoming happier! jie, jingling,neo neo are all happily in love! jie with ray, jl with tengwei, neoneo with yonghao.haha. though i do love their company, i guess im still more comfortable being with jiji? not a fair comparison i know since they didnt begin on the same footing. so i dun see a need to compare either! anw, i felt good meeting them this time round. why? well, ever gone through the process of losing a friend and claiming her back after some time? if u did, i guess you know how lovely that would have been. yeah, i lost neo neo as a friend once. and now, i claimed our friendship back. im just so so glad. anw, so we had dinner at waraku,(u should go try it.its good and cheap after the student price discount of 25%) and we walked a long long way to plaza sing for bubble tea- gong cha i think. anw, the most amazing that happened that night was when the 3 gals went off to the toilet and left me and baba on our own. not that i was approached by some hunk for number. but she actually brought up the topic of me and jy! i thought i would feel sore over that. but amazingly, i was so glad that she talked about that! and so, i decided to tell her everything i told to the rest of jiji. omg. saying all those to baba! i never ever imagined that. i even thought that i could open up myself to jiji the other night was partly bcos baba werent around! and now, i actually spilled out everything. everything to my dearest baba. and she told me something that i never knew. she said she regretted not stopping me and jy from coming tgt 2 years back. she felt that we were not ready at all. me and jy were never ready to get into a relationship bcos we totally skipped a step. we didnt continued to be a couple from good friends. in fact, we got together as acqaintance(sp?) i would say. acquaintance whom liked each other and hence decided to go a few more steps further. i admit, this what happened then. i didnt think hard enough on the part that we werent even considered friends and i hastily decided to move on to couples. cos i liked him(so much). and i didnt want to miss someone like him. so anw, baba spelled her thoughts out and i told her everything i could. and it was the most amazing thing that had happened that night. indeed, baba has grown and matured so much over the years. and i really liked the new her now! i didnt know we can ever talk about all those. and i realised another thing that night. that even though i missed her presence in uni so much, i guess i needa be glad that we are separated now. it just feels that im brought out of my comfort zone. without her, i am forced to make new friends, forced to open up myself more to others. if she were still around, i would probably be still sticking around with her! so i guess everything happens for a reason. yes, everything happens for a reason. anw, it was a wonderful night. a night that i never thought of before. im just so glad. im just so thankful for who i am now.

12) alrightes. thats all i have been going through so far. i loved this feeling right now. just feverishly typing whatever that is coming into my head. and i could just go on and on. i admit i was feeling so sore the other time when i thought we patched things up. but after these few days, i think i felt better. never felt so good before.

Attraversiamo.