i realised it's so hard to start this entry. it's just so hard.
you know, this is the time when whichever blog you go to, you see people recollecting about their 2010 and the love, hate, sadness, happiness, regrets, achievements they had went through and finally their anticipation for the new year. everyone gets moody. yes, everyone. or, is it just me?
2010, was a year of ups and downs. every other years had their share of ups and downs i guess. but this year was, well, different? i don't know.
ended A levels and embarked on a long break from my studies. i guess this was the main event that changed my perception/thoughts/behaviors for my life. if not for this long break, i couldnt have come till this very end.
celebrated my 19th birthday with my friends mostly. wasn't a big blast or anything. just simple dinners, get together with them. started working as relief teacher in swiss and this had been my best working experience as a young adult. received my a levels results and labelled it as one of the best achievements i have made in 2010. not because i did fantastically well, but because i had worked really hard for some thing and i have not regretted a single bit. sought so much advices from so many people and spent such a long time looking for courses to enrol in in university and finally settled for psychology in ntu. went on to a china trip with yz and had a really free and easy trip over there. volunteered in yog and met really great mentors(yati and steven). had wonderful times watching the games, following the results. really enjoyed myself so much for the 14 days event and am really glad i was part of the inaugural youth olympics. uni started and tried really hard to immerse into the new environment. met new friends, back to studying all over again.
just roughly going through the main highlights of the year.
of course, i can never stop talking about my relationship with him. this was regrettably a big portion of down for my life in 2010. i dont know how to talk about it,really. and i guess there's really nothing much to say. have had the worse insomnia of my life this whole year. whether it has got to do with him or not, i can't be bothered anymore. i have had enough of explaining. explaining to others and explaining to myself.i should have long accepted the fact that there're just some things in life that can't be explained and there's really no need to.
you know, sometimes i feel i can't be single forever. cos i see people around me getting attached one by one. im not jealous of their relationship status. but i just thought to myself, it's gonna be really hard to get them out to accompany me one day when i needed someone to talk to. you get what im trying to say? i mean when they have their boyfriends, friends naturally becomes a notch lower than bf in terms of priority. i don't want to turn around one day, and suddenly realise i have no one to go to when i feel so lonely or when i needed a friend to share about life. okay. this applies to everyone and not just me.
for the new year, i decided not to set any new year resolution. the more hopes one harbour, the greater the dissapointment at the end of the day(or year). this is not being pessimistic. but being realistic. i should go easy on myself, right?
lastly, im really glad im back to blogging. really really glad. and really glad that i had went back to this website. nowhere else would be a better place to pen all these down. everytime i look at the archives and see a completed version of the year 2010 from january till december, i smile from the bottom of my heart. so what if most of them contain struggles i went through. i still loved the fact that im back, here. blogging about life haven been more meaningful for me. thanks for coming back, sinting.
and if you insist, happy new year, world!
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