i dont know what the shit am i still doing here, typing. typing a post. i should totally just bury myself in all those books, lecture notes, tutorials, group assignments, individual assignments... i dont understand why the hell am i so busy this sem! i thought sem 1 was a breeze! was in fact a freaking breeze! Ahhhhhhhhhh. i needa let it out, totally.

on another note, im glad he was around. or am i really glad? haha. i have no idea. im confused with my feelings too.
sometimes i think hey, i really like all these love he's showering on me! and sometimes i think im merely exploiting him. sometimes i feel like he should totally stop before the 2 of us sink in deeper. sometimes i thought why not just let everything be as it is. who knows what will happen in the future? sometimes i thought actually i dont really like him afterall. im just too deprived of someone's love and concern and he just happen to be that someone providing me with all that again. sometimes i think i should totally keep an open mind and embrace him. sometimes i think i should just go back to the lonely sinting so as not to get hurt again.
hahahaha. how amusing can i get. totally contradicting thoughts flying all over the place! what the shit. i guess im thinking too much. way too much. so much that my small teeny weeny brain is feeling the strain and it will freaking burst any minute. i shouldnt even allow my brain to store all these craps! open it up for my dead thick psych textbooks will be more practical right?

that day hy told me this. 'you dont set ur expectations too high and open your eyes big big! confirm can find! and if there's a guy who's there for you, dont push him away. receive him with an open heart. who knows he might be the right one?' hahahaha. i totally loved how she phrased it. how she phrased everything! yeah, she's freaking right. that's just what i needed to do right? of course it's always easier said than done, but i find it really true! so maybe i could just work towards that! just keep an open mind about it and we'll see how things turn out?

anyway, i realised i haven been updating the blog seriously. as in put in all those things i had done over these few months. so im like, owe the blog an awfully long post! i will seriously find some time to do that cos i really need to reflect from time to time to keep track of my life. haha. alrights. lemme continue to bury myself in my assignments again. wish me so much luck for the sem seriously. *cross my fingers*