Saturday, August 27, 2011/7:59 AM
Occasionally, i ransack my wardrobe and look at all the cards,souveniers,notes,letters and everything. it wouldnt be hard to realise that im just a nostalgia freak-you all know.

In life, people come and go.
that's just so true.
there are those people whom you thought would never leave you no matter what comes along. but yet, they sometimes are the ones whom leave you first, right at the beginning.
and there are those whom you thought wouldn't stay any longer than a few months.
but yet, they sometimes are the one whom stood by you for the most part of your life.

whatever the case, people come and go.
and simply come and go at times when you least expected or in fact least wanted.

it's been 2 months since he left. i admit i haven't gotten over this man. no matter how hard i've tried to, he's still living in every inch of me.

it's never that easy for me to get over a man--you all know.
i'm not trying to say that i ransacked my wardrobe so that i can reminiscence those memories of him. in fact, i left the box of 'his stuffs' untouched,unopened. what i explored were stuffs from friends, the old him, juniors, seniors and family.

much as it's really effortless to recognise him as someone who's really not worthy of my love,
it aren't as easy to let go of nor forget this uninviting past with him.

but for now, i genuinely hope he will leave soon; he will be that someone who come and go quickly. and for the best part, stop haunting me.

on a side note, the weather's awesome today. perfect for cuddling in the bed for the whole day and sleep through life the day.
and here comes the 5day breakaway from school! :)

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Sunday, August 7, 2011/3:38 PM
despite the many heartbreaks that i went through. i still, very much, enjoyed myself this summer break. that's from the bottom of the heart.

at this very moment of my life, i see myself understanding this phrase,never so clearly before; that "In life, Everything happens for a reason."

indeed. he has left me with so much heartaches through the things he has done. but still, it wasn't for no reason. cos through this episode, it brought me closer to friends whom i never thought we could.

first was my frens in uni. going on trip together was more than cool, i would say. htht sessions with them brings us much closer. and they shared so much of my joy when i was so happy over the new found relationship with the new him, and eventually, stood by me/expressed shock/cursed and swear at him, when the happiness proved to be so shortlived.

then was jingjie. i mean we were already rather close, but this holiday, we were brought even closer. we met up more often, did things we said we wanted to and everything else. had endless htht sessions,was the one who asked me to give in my heart and give it a try; and later the one to jolt me up and face the reality. maybe it was contradicting of her. but i understand, that she wanted the best for me in no matter what kind of circumstances.

then was everyone in jiji. through this 2nd relationship of my life, i was so much more open about it to them, and so much more willing to share. and i felt really good sharing with them. whether through this virtual space, or telling them face to face.
specifically, i have to mention my dear turbo. she, for the best part, was with me throughout the 2 worst episodes of my life where i was left so darn depressed. she was that listening ear, that someone who had no qualms being with me the whole day-even if it means doing nothing at all;just roaming around singapore, that someone for me to ask "why", that someone to vent my frustrations, that someone ever trying to drill me with so much words of wisdom(which apparently failed), that someone whom i cried so much infront of. and cheesy it may sound, nothing could really express my appreciation to this friend of mine,i swear.

then was a cousin of mine. one of the most significant person who played a part in this whole thing. the one knowing the most of everything;the most updated stories about me and him. the one whom i turned to every single day to share details of. the one whom i most wanted to meet,cry infront of,hug; when he didnt want me anymore. we always say this. 没有他，就没有变好的感情。which i swear as hell was true.

then the most recent would have been zhiler. it was by chance that i knew she is actually now facing the same thing as i did. where a guy is going all out to get close to her but im pretty sure he's just fooling around. he's just not into it. and he's going to break her heart like how mine was broken by that him. i was open about sharing my experience with her and i hope that could save her some heartbreaks. and this, made us see each other as friends whom shouldn't have been missed.

perhaps this is the thing about life. that there comes a time when you realise some things are gotten/learnt the hard way. though i feel so darn hurt over this person(i still am,sadly. and I don't know how long I'm going to take to stop feeling so) and i cried like shit over him, what's in store for me afterwhich could have been the reason why this whole thing happened.

and maybe i can try to feel less sore about it.

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Wednesday, August 3, 2011/12:00 PM
it's been a long time since i visited this space.
life's back to normalcy, i would say.

im giving myself a break from love,relationships and sorts. i think i have been struggling too much all these while. first was struggling to get over the old him, then was every single snapshots with the new him. i think its time to take a break. a real break from all of these and stay single;and most importantly, happy being single.

im concentrating on my studies this sem. concentrating on doing well. well enough to apply for exchange and any scholarships of that sorts. maybe shifting my main focus would mean something different; would make me a happier person.

everything will be okay in the end.
if its's not, it's not the end.

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